Once Upon a Time in Hollywood is essentially a comedy, but it’s also laments some things strongly that I felt were quite profound and needed to be expressed today.
Brad Pitt’s character really stood out for me.
I think there are some deeper reasons why his character seems to be hitting home and ringing true for people.
I actually remember guys like him when I was a little kid. They were everywhere. They were uncles and grandfathers and great uncles or boyfriends of my mom’s friends. They were the guys you brought your car to, they were out in driveways fixing their trucks, these were how most adults males were in my world. This is how working class American males basically looked and behaved. They had a quiet sense of doing what’s right and of being fair and square. Like Pitt’s character, they often had some kind of old blurry military tattoo(s) on their arm somewhere before tattoos were considered normal and acceptable. They sometimes also actually had some scars that they didn’t talk about. One step-uncle of mine never once wore a short sleeve shirt for this reason. They seemed like they’ve seen some things, and were a bit quiet and mysterious about it and seemed to want to protect you from it all. Despite it all, they always with a wry sense of humor about them that showed you there was nothing they couldn’t handle.
At things like BBQs and 4th of July parties, they’d usually be off in a circle of folding chairs somewhere, drinking beer, maybe playing cards, cracking jokes that I didn’t always get, and smoking with Zippo lighters (I always loved the sound and smell of those things).
As a kid looking up to these guys, I always felt safe. I always felt like I was in good hands, and these guys were capable, not only with little things like fixing basically anything, but that they could very much handle whatever might be thrown at them and they’d make sure you were okay.
The scene when Brad Pitt confronts the Manson hippie who slashed his tire was fascinating to me, because I felt an odd sense of catharsis and longing in this sold out audience when Brad Pitt tells the guy to fix what he did, and then smashes the guy in the face several times when the guy responded with a, “f*ck you”. I hate violence. Most everyone does, but you could clearly feel and hear the support and even relief in the audience in this scene when Brad Pitt takes an action that took some balls instead of being, “triggered”.
We were looking at a man on screen for the first time in a long time, and it was okay.
It was not only okay, it was good.
We missed it, and rightfully so.
“Toxic masculinity” is a new, completely made up, and unfortunate term for a guy acting like an asshole. It’s an unnecessary new propagandistic and misleading catch phrase like, “The Patriot Act”. It feels less about complexity truth and more about pushing some creepy, overall, simple-minded narrative. Just call it what it is if some guys is behaving like a jerk. We don’t need to make up a misguided new sound-bite for that.
Masculinity is about strength and integrity and wisdom and protecting your friends and loved ones. It’s about doing what’s right, even if it’s scary and tough. There is virtually nothing toxic about what it actually is, and I think we all miss it on some level. We should.
This is not something to be stamped down and denied. This should be celebrated.
Once Upon a Time, men like this existed.
Allow and encourage them to exist again now.